“Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” — John Heywood
Most widows shutter at the thought of living in this turmoil forever, but moving past the pain is just as difficult to imagine. Don’t let anyone push you faster than you are willing to go. Do not let them feel like you are making wrong decisions when you are doing the best you can. Everyone moves at their own pace. This is your journey and no one else’s. If now is your time, know that you can do it.
Day 4: It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.—Aristotle Onassis
These days of hell will be dark and seeing past them is a difficult task. When you look back at your life, I hope you are able to see that most of your life was happy and your experiences were blessings. Let your goal be the light. Focus on finding the light. Never let go of the goal.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill
This journey, it is not an easy one. In the beginning, you will feel like hell. You will feel as if you are trapped in hell. As the journey continues, the days will get easier. That isn’t to say every day will be better than the last. You will have good and bad days and they might come in batches. What is important is that you go from having mostly bad days, to having more good than bad. Eventually, those bad days will be an occasional event. You must have faith, the further you travel, the better it will feel. Please keep going.
“Some see mountains, I see steps.” — Erin C. Caren
Healing does not happen in a day. It takes time. Right now, healing and continuing your life seems might like an insurmountable task. Try not to view as a mountain you must climb, but a journey. A journey has twists and turns, hills and valleys. You decide your path, you decide how long it takes to reach your destination. You start with one step, and then you take two. Before you know it, you will be well on a path to healing.
Day 1: “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” –Nido Qubein
When people look at widows and widowers, they see how hard it is to lose a spouse. What they do not understand, what they could never imagine, is how hard it is to rebuild your life. Learning to live again, does not mean losing the memory of your loved one. It means healing. Healing is what will allow you to live again.
There is no magic way to do this. There is no automatic fix. It is a journey. Like all journeys, it has a beginning. Today is where you start.
I like to read, but often the only time I have to read is in the bathtub. I have 5 children (and a husband with a house to take care of), I help with my grandparents, I do this blog and some freelance writing, and I am trying to take better care of myself. I don’t have time to sleep, much less read. I try to read books. Books on writing, books of poetry, The Holy Bible, and even novels. I never succeed. I might read a few pages, or a passage, and then I’m out like a light. So, on occasionally, I read books that are meant to be read one day at a time, like daily devotional books. That way I get my Jesus and some common sense real life application.
As I was laying in the tub reading a Joel Osteen daily devotional book, it hit me: Why isn’t there something like this for widows? There probably is something out there that I haven’t seen, but why haven’t I seen it? Day to Day is what is hard for a widow. Those moments when the kids are in bed and the world is quiet–that’s when a widow doubts, gets lonely, and begs for a different way. Devotionals are typically Bible verses, which I love now, but if someone would have handed me a book about how much God loved me when I was a new widow, I would have shoved it in a drawer. I was still struggling with how a loving God could make me and my children suffer like that. I wanted these devotionals to be wise quotes that really spoke to someone grieving and struggling their way back to living.
Some of these will be from the Bible, because I can’t and won’t deny my faith. I also think in a time when absolutely nothing makes sense, faith is all we have–sometimes we just have to believe things will be better.
Beginning now, I will be doing regular blog posts as well as “365 Days of Motivation for Widows”. The motivational (instead of devotional) posts will have 3 specific tags on each posts so they can easily be searched from the homepage. The tags are: ‘365 Days’, ‘Devotional for Widows’, and day of the devotion (like today is day 1, so would be tagged with a 1). Each post will be less than 200 words and will include a quote that I have identified with. They should be a very quick read that hopefully will stick with you through the day. They won’t make everything ‘all better’, but I do hope they help you get through one more day and closer to being able to live again.