About Me

3 thoughts on “About Me”

  1. Well, hello Sara, happy to hear that things are good for you!! So, my name is Lillith and I’m a recent widow, my hubby of 15 yrs passed on Nov 21, 2014 after 6 months of hospitalization, post surgery, where he had a pituitary tumor removed. Well, things went badly after a couple of weeks into his recovery, he developed a cerbro spinal fluid leak, he hemoraged, had to go back into hospital, 40 miles away from home. He developed and was treated for meningitus, then had a couple of bouts of cardiac crisis and a heavy fluid bulld up. We got him to our local hospital after 2 months and several of his docs were valiant, ;put in a pacemaker/defibrillator, the developed water-on-the-brain, they put in a brain shunt and he ended up with end stage liver disease building fluid that leaked out of his belly. I fought and got him home on Nov 7, with hospice and we had two weeks together. This has been the hardest experience of my life. I’m 63 next week, and I took care of my dad for his last several years until the end and I was still really grieving him when my husband started to lose his sight and they decided to do the surgery. He had lived very succesfully with heart disease and diabetes, but his health was always a worry to me. When he fell ill, I freaked and went thru so much angst, I can’t even explain how bad it was. When I realized he was dying, which none of the drs. would come out and say, so it was when we got him home that the harsh reality sank in for me and my worst fears were realized. Its just about 3 months now, I’m still dealing with the shreds of my life in the aftermath. Picking up pieces, worried to death about whether I will quality to take over the mortgage or what is going to happen. My physical health went awry when Kurt was in hospital, and I know that is related to my emotional state. I’m numb and I’m raw at the same time. I shut myself away but hate that too! I did not have my own kids, and have a poor relationship with my husbands 23 yr old son. He tends to take and take and I am a sucker who gives and gives. I can’t live like that anymore. I need to move my butt and get something of value back in my life. I’m scared to move really. Are there any widows out that that would like to share with me? All the best to all of you. Lillith in Santa Cruz, California.


    1. Well, a long pause perhaps!! Long long pause. I just stopped long enough to dedicate myself to starting a business (jamberry nail wraps). I can’t accomplish anything if I stretch myself too thin. So, I have to dedicate myself to this right now, so it will allow me some freedom to do what I need and want to do….write! Don’t give up on me!


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